Today I went to church with my bf. Recently I was emotionally weak.Moody and down almost everything that comes into my life. I been asking myself what happen to me why GOD did not response to my prayers.Why he is ignoring me???I am very sad toward this matter.Today Pastor was talking about we are wonderfully made by GOD Himself. We are made for purpose and not by accident or just "suka suka". What surprise me was the pastor telling all of us that GOD said he do not abandon or forgotten our prayers and i guess those words really strike me right into my heart i was so touched that my tears rolled down.
Pastor told us that we are not suppose to compare with others as we are specially made and not copy...none of us in this world are the same including the twins!!Finger prints and eyes iris are also different from each other all are with its signature.To many ppl these are fact that they learn when they are in school...yeah but have u wonder why and how?No one so far can explain it yet.Last time I was compared with my nieces which it really stressed me all my childhood. Then when I grow older the comparison are still there just i know how to ignore it.In fact I hate this feeling!Maybe my negative behaviour also being shaped by this.Since today preaching, I will try not to look at others and think that they are better than me because we never know that they might having all kind of shits that we never notice of.It is because I am too busy looking at other people and I never really care about myself and sooner or later I am into depression because too stressful looking at ppl. In fact the more we compare the more stressful we are.I felt grateful that even I am not happy with my current situation but GOD have some plans for me.My mum blames me for too rush to resigned from my previous job and now end up jobless. I never regret with that decision even until now.Another matter my mum always hurt me was I am an "accident baby" and was a burden to her. Well,well, this is another thing that shocked me because that today preaching Pastor also said that each of us are special so we are not accident baby.I am stunned when i heard this.I admitted that I am so emotional torture when my mum blames me as being an accident baby because I do not choose my existence but the parent did but why blames me? Until now i realize that I am not an accident as my mum said because all of us are here for a purpose and we just need to find that purpose. Some have found it and some are not. GOD gave us gift in order for us to reach our purposes.The gifts are such good singers,good cook,and many more...Last time i am very poor in needle works but now i can crochet some stuff and also learning knitting.This is my biggest learning skill that i learn.I always like to make cakes and dessert.Finally I made 2 cakes from steamed method and well, it is a bit sweet but other than that it is edible so still consider a good news.Hahaha...After i move out from my sis place I learn alot of new skills.I am happy with that.
A moment ago, I chatted with an old friend who told me she got lots of problem from family to her own life...but all these while I tot she was very happy with his high pay salary and good life and tonight she told me she was stress and no wonder some ppl might choose to suicide.Welcome to the Reality!!!I dunno how many times I experince such feeling...Luckily I am still around...I just hope that she can come around and will go thru this tough experince.So people I guess I need to pen off here at the moment...You guys takecare and Cheers!!!GBU!!!
